I’d love to be able to report that I am much better; brimming with health and vitality.
Alas, no. Life is still the same as it was in my last post. I’m still battling with fatigue, and even though I am now 25 weeks pregnant, the light at the end of the tunnel feels very far, far away.
My doctor has run a barrage of tests to make sure I don’t have anything seriously wrong with me, but he just thinks Baby no 2 is simply putting more stress on my thyroid (I have hypothyroidism) than Eloise did. Basically there’s nothing I can do but rest and pray things come right with my thyroid once the baby is here. It’s a boy by the way!
D and I have been having a very tough time and are just feeling like we have absolutely nothing left in our tanks. A couple of weeks ago Eloise and I got some gastro-bug (again!) and were both out of action for a week, and as soon as Eloise had recovered she promptly had a teething episode which saw her sleeping worse than a newborn.
Poor D is working hard to provide for us and has to pick up my slack (some days I can barely look after Eloise) so he is on Eloise duty a lot. As far as my fatigue goes I have good days and bad days. The annoying thing is that I absolutely cannot suck-it-up-and-push-through-it. If I try, I pay for it for the next couple of days. For example, last week I had a church event in the evening that I desperately wanted to attend. I was exhausted, but I dragged my carcass there and had a great time. The next day I got up, but after half an hour I felt like I might collapse if I didn’t go and lie down. I ended up sleeping for several hours that morning and was very grateful that my mother-in-law was free to watch Eloise.
It turns out it’s quite hard to be kind, and light-hearted and to keep my sense of humour when I feel like a slug for weeks on end. I’ve been squabbling with D, and am generally leaving grouchiness in my wake.
So after a council of war, D and I have decided to hunker down until the baby arrives. I for one, am scared about going into life with a newborn and 18 month old when we are exhausted right now. We’ve decided to say ‘no’ to any extraneous demands on our time. Apart from a few church things, and D going to Toastmasters, we’re going to be homebodies, thank you very much. For me it means saying ‘no’ to things like going to lots of Easter church services, or getting up for the ANZAC dawn parade. Saying ‘no’ to requests for me to help out with playgroups or ukulele lessons. Basically this will be me:
Roll on due date!