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Last week was a dud.

not-today

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I wondered if I had inadvertently eaten sugar as I was tired, irritable, hungry and completely lacking in motivation.  But I can’t think what it could have been hiding in.  All I know is I ate too many carbs, and we had takeaways twice.  Just not a great week foodwise, despite it being sugar-free.

I was too tired to run and hit snooze a couple of mornings in a row, and was also thwarted in my running plans by the weather (and my word we are being hit by a heck of a storm right now too).  By the time the weekend arrived I had run a grand total of 0 times.  I felt pretty darn disappointed in myself.

I was in the blahs.

I chastised myself for being lazy, for not looking after myself properly.  Which quickly spiralled into angry thoughts about why I was not losing weight like a bandit eating and exercising the way I’ve been.  I had visions of myself coming last in next month’s charity run.  

A bright point was R visiting for a while on her way back from Australia.  My daughter just loves her and it’s always fun to see them having a ‘chat’.  And then the sunshine returned (briefly) for the weekend, and after a picnic and stroll with D and Eloise I felt more like myself.  On Saturday night I psyched myself up to go running.  I thought about all the reasons I should go for a run.  I laid my clothes out at the ready.  When my alarm went off I got my butt out of bed and went for that run.

Initially I was like ‘Oh, this is gonna be hard’.  After a few minutes I thought ‘Yep.  Suspicions confirmed.  This is hard’.  My legs were saying ‘Ummm, hello?  You want us to cooperate after a week of not stretching us?  We have news for you, Angela’.  But I kept this face in the forefront of my thoughts:

My motivation

My motivation

Yes, I am the one doing the hard yards, pounding the pavement and leaping over sugary cakes with a single bound in my quest to live healthily.  But my daughter is the reason I’m here talking to you right now. That chubby-cheeked smiling girl is all the motivation I need.  I want to pass on good eating habits to her, so I eat sugar-free.  I don’t want her to have weight problems like I have, so I’m raising her sugar-free (ask me how that’s working when she’s on the birthday party circuit).  I run so I will be fit enough to keep up with her when she’s a toddler.  I run because I enjoy it and I want Eloise to see that exercise is part of life.

So as I was running and thinking ‘Eloise, this is for you, my sweet little monkey’, the run became easy and I settled into a good pace.  I should be going out there tomorrow but this awful weather is set to continue so I’ll have to work out to a video or something.  My point is, I’m back in the running game.

I was reflecting with D how my attitude to running is becoming aligned with how I think about living without sugar.  The old Angela would probably have used not running for a week as an excuse to quit altogether.  On the rare occasions I’ve eaten some sugar, I no longer throw in the towel.  I get back on track at the next meal.  So a week of not running – while discouraging and full of negative thoughts – truly did not feel like the end of the world to me.

Ladies and gentlemen, sometimes we just have a case of the blahs.  Our motivation seems to have packed its bags.

And that’s okay.

Life is like that.  Sometimes we are all fired up and feel like everything is rosy.  We’re on top of this healthy living thing!  Pass me my kale & quinoa smoothie.

Other times it feels like an effort, and you wonder what the point of it all is.  Everyone else is eating their muffins and quaffing their milkshakes.  Waaah!

Push through the blahs.  The blahs are like that bully who made your life miserable back in school.  Full of s**t, and eager to take you down a peg or two, you uppity, healthy livin’ freak.  Well, you made it out of high school.  And you’ll make it through a few days or weeks of living in blahland.  It’s all going to be okay, just don’t quit.

Stand up to those blahs.  Like any bully they will cave at the first sign of resistance.  Arm yourself with ninja skills to strike back.  Ask yourself:

  • Why am I doing this?
  • What benefits do I hope to see?  Get your vision quest on.
  • What goals am I working towards?
  • What benefits have I already seen?
  • Who’s with me in this?  Form a posse of like-minded people, even if they’re just online friends.

Now get back in there Corporal!

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