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Yesterday I hopped on the scales expectantly after not weighing myself for a couple of weeks.  Imagine my horror to see that the scales had gone up by TWO kilos!

I was so mad!  How could this possibly be happening?  I’ve been sugar-free for weeks, and have just ticked off several low-carb days.  I’d been for a run that very morning, for goodness sake.  And, it was my birthday.  Some present huh?

So what did I do?  I cried.  Okay, so I only cried for like, a couple of seconds as I was bemoaning my lack of weight-loss to D, but it was still sooooo demoralising.

I’m getting increasingly frustrated at my lack of progress as far as my weight is concerned.  Last year the weight just fell off.  This year it’s like the weight is hanging on for dear life.  I have no idea what’s going on.

Fortunately I have sufficiently withdrawn from sugar so that I didn’t feel the need to drown my sorrows in the nearest piece of cake (a mean feat when it’s your birthday, I reckon!).  I treated myself to a nice sugar-free, low carb lunch and took Eloise for a long walk in the glorious sunshine (hello Sun, I’ve missed you).  R came back from holiday so I talked it over with her, although she and D are mystified at my current lack of progress.

So I’m waiting.  Waiting for those damn scales to come down.

I was reflecting this afternoon that waiting is the leading characteristic of my life at the moment.  And that waiting is not a bad thing at all.

I like change.  I generally embrace it, and have been known to throw myself into great changes, boots and all.  I get itchy feet if I stay in one place for a while; I don’t know why or what that says about me.  I don’t think I would have moved over 20 times, lived in four different countries and love multifarious jobs if I was afraid of change.

At the moment we are waiting to see if D gets a job with a big IT company.  If he does, it will bring about some big changes.  The role is a remote-work-from-anywhere job, so we’d like to move to my hometown, where we can actually afford to buy a house outright.  We’re sick of renting and would like to be on the property ladder before D becomes a Minister.  While my hometown is of course, familiar territory, I haven’t actually lived there since I was 18.  I have a couple of friends who I have vaguely kept in touch with, but that’s about it.  Like D, I will need to make new friends, which I enjoy doing as I’m an extrovert.  D has never lived outside of Wellington before so it will be a big step out of his comfort zone.

If D doesn’t get this job, change is gonna come anyway.  He isn’t enjoying his current job, but fortunately D is blessed with both genius and good-naturedness, which means that people seem to be falling over themselves to offer him jobs.  It’s an enviable position to be in.  With his skillset, D could probably find work anywhere in the world, so we’ve toyed with the idea of going overseas for a while.  So who knows where we will end up?

Waiting is actually exciting – there is so much potential.  I feel the same way about my wellness journey.  Sure those scales went up instead of down.  But they WILL go down.  Since embarking on a sugar-free life, I have reaped many benefits.

  • I feel sated for longer.  I don’t climb the walls if dinner is late, or go scrounging around for morning tea an hour after I’ve eaten breakfast.  It all adds up to eating less.
  • I rarely think about eating sweet things; and on the occasions when I do, I don’t feel compelled to actually eat those foods.
  • Despite a few bouts of baby brain, I feel clearer and more mentally alert.  I had some wicked mood swings while I was sick last week, but most of the time I feel on an even keel.
  • My taste buds are alive.  It’s amazing how sugar dulls your sense of taste.  When you’re off sugar, it’s suddenly so much easier to discern flavours.
  • My skin is clearer.  I haven’t had a spot for quite a while.

Part of me is excited to see what difference lowering my carb intake will have.  I have been a bit hungrier than normal, but thanks to being sugar-free anyway, I haven’t wanted to gnaw my arm off in desperation.

And so we wait.