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I have been suffering from a major case of the blahs, and my sugar-free motivation has waxed and waned as a result.

chocolate cake

photo credit

At the moment one of my family members is being a royal pain in the butt to another family member.  This person can be very difficult and when she’s feuding with someone, the rest of the family suffers also.  I’m the peacekeeper in my family so it’s hard for me to stay out of it.  No seriously, I get calls from both injured parties wanting to vent.  Sigh.

D and I are also stressed out with juggling D’s studies/work/raising Eloise.  Quite frankly, having your partner spend almost all of his free time studying isn’t a lot of fun.  We thought we’d hit upon a solution – moving to my hometown where we can afford a house, have my Mum and D share looking after Eloise; and having me be the main breadwinner so D can study full time and get his theology degree in two years.

But it turns out that I really, really want to stay home with Eloise for the first few years of her life (as someone who has a degree in Psychology and Education, I believe these years are crucial).  I felt no peace with the decision for me to work full time, and spent a lot of time in prayer and in tears, wrestling with what to do.

Our latest solution is to still move, while D works remotely and drops down to one paper a semester, and I continue to stay home with Eloise.  We like the idea of raising Eloise in my hometown – which is very family friendly – and where we can afford to buy a house where there’s plenty of space for her to run around.  We have family there (who are great when there’s no feuds going on…) and our tiny rental here in Wellington is bursting at the seams since Eloise came on the scene.  I’ve picked up a part-time job working from home, which can be done in any location, so I can continue on with that.  Yes, this decision means his studies are going to take friggin’ forever – but doing the best thing for Eloise and for D’s sanity are more important.

Anyhow, in a ‘hey-this-is-crappy’ way, I’ve been fascinated to notice how badly I want to self-soothe with food whenever I am dealing with difficult feelings.  For the past few days, I have wanted nothing more than to have a HUMONGOUS piece of chocolate cake to ‘make myself feel better’.  Even now, this is still so tempting to do, rather than just sit with my feelings and work through them.

But I haven’t had that cake.  I know it will make me feel physically yuck and derail my withdrawal.  It will also make me beat myself up.  I’m sitting with my feelings instead.  It’s uncomfortable, but not unbearable.

Giving up sugar may help you learn to deal with all sorts of things in a healthier way.